Not all ambulance chasers have that innate ability to make the final cut (Jane is not referring to the non-linear editing program called Final Cut that Jane uses to make movies). Not everyone can make a lot of money no matter how far they fly. To succeed in the private sector (or in a private practice) one must have the ability to flap one's wit and invest one's gross (income, that is) taking great risks. EXAMPLE. Q: Did Big Bird survive the move from analog living room tv set to digital conversion box the moment Romney threatened to close his Sesame Street barn yard down without taking any risks?...and wait... I'm not finished yet, this flight gets better...and then the "party" tries to use him (meaning exploit Big Bird) as a chess board pawn during town hall slut campaigns? Obviously not, even if that guy (we will call him Mitt) was fully-loaded$$$. Pimping out a bird or anything like this is not risque buddy, it's pathetic. Sooooo, our political slogan motto for this Christopher Columbus holiday is "NOPE," and not "HOPE." Both parties have failed flight now by shutting us down and behaving like corporate stool pigeons.
A: So, dear Big Bird, when one door closes, another one will open. I promise. Karma has that old wives tale thing well confirmed now. It's no myth, chump. So dust off your shaggy yellow tail ole birdy, flip through the apps on your giant plasma screen and consider applying for the Nobel prize next year. There is a funny feeling in the air that the odds are not completely against you any longer. Public opinion regarding partisanship and the Nobel Peace Prize have hit rock bottom low. Almost as low as the ground that feeds you (and the poor ratings that shut your PBS government down Mr. Big Bird). Eat well, those crumbs. And because you love me so, save me your sloppy seconds. Then fly, fly, fly away.
And to the pigeon pictured above, Happy Columbus Day. As a pigeon, you will always have that reputation of being our most reliable great long-distance messenger of honesty during your cross country travels. You soared, he sailed. And guess what, you're a little bit more reliable than Christopher was. Even if you are both deceased now. Spread your wings and enjoy your government issued Ferris Bueller Day Off. That's right, at the end of the day it's just one big-budget comedy. bye.
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