Friday, October 18, 2013

the teddy bear ate chinese food like a stiff cheap bastard


                                       
This notorious fortune seen above came from a cookie that came from a stiffed chinese meal. General Tso's Chicken has been called nauseating, shocking, depraved,. . . but to a bear what can be found inside of a fortune served with that meal may be a masterpiece in disguise. This unexpected and controversial fortune "to teach is to learn twice" seems written as an anonymous poet's transposition of the Marquis de Sade’s eighteenth-century opus of torture and degradation to Fascist Italy's public eateries when outsiders like "bears" were not allowed in. We must call this segregation. This nightmarish truth that free lesson cookies are joined by high-calorie priced meals should make people sick to their stomach. Free lessons inside of food snacks? That remains to be one of the most thought-provoking FREE public education mystic opportunities of all time. A fortune cookie (as observed above) that bears witness to the political, social, and edible dynamics that define this stale crunchy world we live in. And our deplorable education system that continues to undermine, underpay and devalue teachers. 

But bears don't really like cookies, do they? And "bears" usually like Russian food not Chinese, don't they? But what if we (i.e. Jane) are/is talking about teddy bears? Well, then that changes the scope of things here. Why? Because these "kind" of bears usually have a supportive individual to snuggle up with (like a teddy bear) and teach these kinds of things to them. These un"fortunate" things, unfortunately. So who do you consider to be your teacher or teddy bear?

When the waiter angrily asked this teddy bear at the chinese place for his tip, he was "taught" to look the other way. The bear got drunk on duck sauce sap and howled. A commotion erupted. That waiter learned a lesson twice last night and got scared out of his mind. This repeat customer, this bear (Stearned), delinquent stiffed that waiter two times already (i.e. two-fold).   

"I'm just a teddy bear. I just came for the free cookie. Relax. The fortune cookie was delicious. I'm harmless. Don't be scared. I got a heart of gold."


And like a bad movie, all you could make out at that point in time was the background noise. Dishes. Glasses. Waffles? And belching. And an angry undocumented dishwasher with a wrinkled greasy PETA T-shirt on screaming, "you cheap American bastard!" 


The bear walked out. Stumbling. Confused. Disoriented.  



Then the bear passed out on the front lawn. "I feel so stupid," he dreamt. A black squirrel observed and thought to itself, "is that fat guy really American? He looks more Russian to me." It then creeped up quietly to the teddy bear, snuggled, and ate the rest of the bear's cookie. No fortune in sight. And no tip either. The squirrel instinctively knew the greatest teacher in his life was experience. 

It left the bear alone.

THE END. bye.





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