Friday, April 18, 2014

The World Looks Upside Down - Sour for the Hulluvit.

True, my eye focal lenses do appear to be upside down.
But life does require multi-strategic viewing settings.

Basically, when life hands(serves) to you a lemon... 
don 't make lemonade out of it  ...why bother wasting your time with that. 
(Never give any Sourpuss that pleasure). 
Just suck it up (the lemon, that is). 
In the end, it always ends up tasting better that way. 
trust me . 

p.s. Most importantly, you have the great opportunity to spit out all of the pits that way. "Payback's a beeeyotch," said the flying pit.  bye.

p.s.s. Jane,don't spill acidic liquids on the lens while you rant. Thanks.

  TRI-X desert/dunes/terrain location scouting+ tests .. .

Thursday, April 17, 2014

And The Death Toll Keeps Rising...

r.i.p. Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
bye :(

2014 Artists Rights Society (ARS). 
Any unauthorized commercial use of materials is strictly prohibited.  
Copyright © 2014.

Artists in NYC, sadly Pearl Paint is closing. 45% off everything (some seventy-five percent off)-- TOMORROW IS LAST DAY. They still have a ton of stuff (remember FIVE FLOORS!).
Or, have an artist you know and love who could use some new supplies? If you can afford it, surprise them with some spending cash and a trip to Canal St. It will change their world for the next months. depressing bye . 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Cellphone Bronx Pole 'Selfie'

2014 Artists Rights Society (ARS). 
Any unauthorized commercial use of materials is strictly prohibited.  
Copyright © 2014.


Exercises in futility... From hopping up and down playing guitar(see me hop in vid clip above at sold-out gig) in the 90's Punk Hardcore scene to running up and down on an automatic multi-functional treadmill that can be programmed to talk to you. Cute? Between these two (inside of this introspective self-exploratory retrospective), I continue to opt for neither one, and will keep on leaning on the 'Road Less Traveled.' bye.

PostScript in lyrical form as advised by Ms. Valerie June Baker. 
Won’t do right, and he can’t be told
No, He can’t be told,
No, He can’t be told
Won’t do right, and he can’t be told
No, He can’t be told,
No, He can’t be told

Spent his whole life running
Trying to meet a mark
Seems like every moment
Put him back at the start
See how he livin'
See where he's bound
Same destination
6 feet in the ground
Eagle bird got his eye on you
got his eye on you
got his eye on you
Eagle bird got his eye on you
everything you do
got his eye on you

Ain’t tryin' to be nobody
But my fine sweet self
Honey, if I give you everything
then, I'll have nothing left
If I've gotta break the law
To be free from your chins
I'll plead self-defense
when that judge calls my name

Rooster crowed in the dead of night
Knew it wasn't right
to crow before daylight.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Hampers Syndrome

Pandora's Sox is when an old and worn out historical artifact (like a photograph) is discovered inside of a 'box' that smells like old 'socks.' 

Today the phrase "to open up Pandora's Sox" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching waves of saddness that makes the scent of old rotten socks well worth the time of a long and tiresome day. 

Innocence, and ignorance,  are bliss. And so are laundry baskets. bye.

Magnet Cheerleaders.


Monday, April 14, 2014

A Light exists in Spring
Not present on the Year
At any other period —
When March is scarcely here

 A Color stands abroad
 On Solitary Fields
  That Science cannot overtake
  But Human Nature feels.

  It waits upon the Lawn
  It shows the furthest Tree
  Upon the furthest Slope you know
  It almost speaks to you.
  Then as Horizons step
  Or Noons report away
  Without the Formula of sound
  It passes and we stay —
  A quality of loss
  Affecting our Content
  As Trade had suddenly encroached
  Upon a Sacrament.

Friday, April 11, 2014

The Comfort Zone ?

Sometimes a Greyhound may not be the most comfortable dog around, but honestly last time Peter Pan was a much tighter and nastier ride. And that barking complaint has nothing to do with the fact that Petey Boy wore tights in a Disney movie before cashing$$$ in on the bus transportation biz. For all we know, dog owners may be puttin' (Not Putin, but puttin') spandex tights on greyhounds too. But hopefully not on any packed ride.

Moral of this blog if there is one -  Blessed be to the almighty Jet Blue.
Secondary Moral if there is one- Bus trips can be fun despite the lack of bodily comfort. Process over product. Remember Axl Rose getting off of a Greyhound in the, WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE video?

And tights are for fairies, not crowded buses and also not for dogs unless the dog has a body rash like scabies.
And the Amish (peak at the above photo on the right side of photo -on top of the sick dog pic, then go see the below pic too) are forced to wait on a delayed travel line like everybody else.

Like one Amish guy said to another Amish guy, 'When all else fails...just charge up your phone...they die on you ...
...even if you can't let anyone else know that you own one. Everything (everyone) dies on you, at some point.' 'Hey. By the way, where are we headed to this time anyway? Idaho? Cause I heard Idaho got them big assed potatoes. And I'm starved Elliot. Agreed, Janey?' 'Let's just go to a Denny's,' was Jane's rebuttal. 'I wanna order The Lumberjack. The way you guys are talking in circles is confusing the living daylights outta me. And I ain't got nuthin' against lightbulbs actually.  Wanna ride? I called shotgun!'

'Hi Gary,' said the Amish guy to the driver. 

'Sir you must mean, bye,' said Gary, the driver. 'Goodbye sir, get outta my private car. You hippies and hillbilly types really don't know how to tip. I don't care if you want me to drive you to Hardees or not. Get out.  And go catch yourself another greyhound and go somewhere else. There are tons of people on buses so it's impossible to isolate.'
And then that driver drove away. ..

So the next bus drove us (who's us?) off to Toledo, Ohio instead.
And Jane could hear blasting headphones of a passenger, located at the front coach area. And that song was lyrically gut wrenching...

And strangely the Harrison Ford movie 'Witness' played inside of Jane's head for the entire ride. Whatever happened to Kelly McGilless after that Amish film, Jane wondered. I (Jane) heard that she got married in New Jersey or sumthin' like that. Oh well, who cares.

bye Kelly.

2014 Artists Rights Society (ARS). 
Any unauthorized commercial use of materials is strictly prohibited.  
Copyright © 2014.

Problem: jane hates manuals/A.D.D. 101

   SOLUTION:  see jane play.
                              watch jane run.
                              learn by fun (i.e. playing).
   REASONING: because that's how you learned how to drive stick shift. You Dummy. 

   GOAL OBJECTIVE:  to learn how to work this without getting a week-long migraine. 

Induction-Moving, Sad and(thankfully)without LAWYERS


"We're going to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction and I think we're all sitting at the same table." Love added that while it will be awkward, she'll say hello to Grohl, who has had a public war of words with the singer over the rights to, and use of, Nirvana's music for years.
In the interview, Love also discusses her new YouTube channel/reality show, her battles with sobriety and her relationship with 21-year-old daughter Frances Bean. Asked who or what is to blame for their past, public fighting, Love immediately replied, "She has a trust fund. And trust funds attract lawyers. And lawyers attract problems. And that's just the reality."
Jane's spokesperson echoed that final statement. and then 'Bye'd.'

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Kathleen Resigning. Actually upsetting.

Having personally known Kathleen, this resignation is actually personally upsetting. And Jane hopes it is a clear indicator of just how bad things have gotten at the big house.  This is a Bad day.   bye.

p.s. That said, Jane commends her (while Sylvia Burwell celebrates).

p.s. s. Since they're both Greek, we'll call this a Greek tragedy. Chorus included.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The notion of permanence, archive and Lenny Bruce.

Why didn’t I think to rewrite ‘Mrs. Dalloway’? I should have thought to chronicle a schizophrenic ballerina. It’s inexcusable. Everyone else is so successful, and I hate them.” But, she adds, “someday the sun is going to die and everything on Earth will freeze. This will happen. I used to think that printing things made them permanent, but that seems so silly now.

         -Marina Keegan  (posthumous blue-blood sightseeing)

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

3 Blind Mice (and one soap box rat)

'Yo' Paulie, like Ozzy said to 'his' audience years ago...Goodbye To Romance. Snitch, crank the ghetto blaster up a notch! I wanna see the conk fly into the potato salad right when the dead guy's guitar solo starts.'  

(Surveillance Still on the Bust Raid)  
Courtesy of Eyeblackout News

TRIVIA: The 'dead guy' is a Randy Rhodes reference. 
        Also, Sharpton used lavalier microphones not Shure 57's.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Sojourners of the buttered Popcorn Picture.

"Popcorn pictures have always ruled," said STAR WARS director George Lucas. 

"Why do people go and see these popcorn movies when they're not good? That's not my fault. I just understood what people liked to go see."

... So then why do people prefer to watch stuff at home? And why did the death of Blockbuster Video (see cemetery below) come so suddenly. And without fair warning? The war of the tangible object (DVD/VHS) vs. the untouchable idea of a thing material (STREAMING VIDEO DATA) experience. 

So Sad,  Mr. Lucas.
How so many "wars" must come to an end.
The time spent enjoying these works, despite the 'format' seems of the greatest value.

The last wishes of Alexander the Great
On his death bed, Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes:
1. The best doctors should carry his coffin;
2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones) should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery, and
3. His hands should be let loose, hanging outside the coffin for all to see.
One of his generals who was surprised by these unusual requests asked Alexander to explain.
Here is what Alexander the Great had to say:
1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that, in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal
2. I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, stays on earth
3. I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people understand that we come to this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is TIME.
TIME is our most precious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time. When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back. Our time is our life. 


Oh, Oh Madrid.

"A Wife — with your heart's riches- at daybreak Carnarsie I shall be" 

A Wife— with your heart's riches - at daybreak I shall be—
Sunrise—Hast thou a Flag for me?
At Midnight, in Carnarsie, I am but a dirty Maid,
How short it takes to make a Bride—
Then—Midnight, I have passed from thee
Unto the East, and Victory—
Midnight—Good Night Carnarsie! I hear them call dollars,
The Angels bustle in the Hall—
Softly my Future climbs the Stair,
I fumble at my Childhood's prayer
An altar boy - with your Heart 
So soon to be a Child no more—
Eternity, I'm coming—Sire Money Launder,
Savior—I've seen the face—before!

Dear friend Jane, whom I have sent this beloved heartfelt poem above,

Please accept my apology for not contacting you earlier before now due to my tight schedules. I am very happy to inform you about my success in getting that money under the cooperation of a new partner from Calle De La Huertas , Madrid; Presently I'm in Iran with my deep pocket partners for some new projects with the money. Contact my Priest sleeping in Brooklyn, Canarsie, because I have left the instruction with him (on your behalf) and instructed him where to send the $5,000,000.00. Without any further delay for your compensation.

Jane, remember that the 5,000,000.00 MUST BE in draft, not cash, so you need to send to him you're full information where the draft/check will be posted/delivered. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much so feel free to get in touch with him. As at the time I was leaving for Nigeria (a family picnic, a personal matter) he was the only one I could trust with that kind of money, he is a very simple and understanding person. His name is Rev. Father Dr. Ugorji , Email (

I can imagine you walking up to an ATM machine now.DO it for me. Beautiful heart.


So feel free to get in touch with him and discuss with him how the amount will reach you. Oh Jane. Please do let me know immediately when you contact him to receive it, so that we can share the joy and love after all the suffering at that time.  As at the moment, I am very busy here because of the projects which I and the new partner have at hand. Finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to the priest on your behalf to receive that money, so you get in touch with him ASAP and he will send the amount to you without any delay. Here is his email address again ( WRITE IT DOWN ON A SCRAP PAPER NOW!  Dear Jane, I am hopelessly devoted to YOU. Please feel the same way for me:)

This song is dedicated to you Jane. Please blow your money on me. 

p.s.  I hope you loved the poem. Even though I am broke, I wrote it for you with the deepest of hearts. Be well Jane. Your heart is such a compassionate one. Viva Madrid!

Sunday, April 6, 2014

The Unknown Known.

      Rumsfeld- A self described 'measured' man has now made himself available to the general public? 
      bye to all presumed VOD iTUNES  intercontinental & domestic relationships, right?
      Nope. Relax. Right when you thought you'd managed to get your VOD device working properly, 
      the road to hell becomes paved by good intentions. The film actually portrays a fair 
      summation of one man's laborious allegiance to decades of service to his country, 
      all despicable arrogance considered.  Donny even cries in this movie. Errol did not play his deck 
      of cards dirty with this one. He even covers the man's known disdain for Rice.
     Un-mental Note: VOD means video on demand...a pay to play aesthetic.
     If anything in this Statesman's movie is redeemable, it may lie in the absolute 'shock 
     and  awe' gorgeous ocean and sea photography seen a few times in this headshot doc piece. 
     For that alone, we should be grateful. And also, that he's retired from the Office. Thank Gawd.

p.s. in the end, the greatest blunder may have been the invention of a dictaphone. bye again.
p.s.s.  shhhhhhhhhhhh. . .