Jill Ireland, her husband, Charles Bronson, and their seven children had lived with the specter of death. That was when Ireland's doctor had delivered the chilling news: Her cancer, which had come back after three years, had metastasized. Now there were tumors in her lungs. The prognosis: Two years to live, possibly three. Ireland had sworn, she had cried, then she had done what she had to do if she wanted those precious years. She had begun a drastic, debilitating course of chemotherapy and radiation. And she went on with her life, starting her third book, "Life Times," and hoping to be well enough to star in the television adaptation of "Life Lines," the book in which she chronicled the devastating struggle of her adopted son, Jason McCallum, with alcohol, cocaine and heroin addiction. Publicly, as she did when she underwent a mastectomy for breast cancer in 1984, Ireland continued to profess optimism. Still, she knows the odds, and, in an essay written for the June issue of Life magazine, she even described the funeral she wants: "A real wake, with balloons, Champagne, everyone in bright, happy colors, lots of food and music. A fiesta. A celebration of my life. . . ."