Saturday, October 6, 2018

The opening of more, Moore.

This is a run on sentence -  So it was very late at night, on opening night, and it was at some random #rando dilapidated stale popcorn cineplex, and it was somewhere out there in da mutha f'in boonies - Boonie Country: Bumfuck Egypt, and the movie theatre was completely empty, and this bankrupt writer had no cash funds$$$ on him whatsoever to buy any of that available stale popcorn that existed there at that place, and the movie to be witnessed was to be the new documentary by that morbidly obese kingpin of humiliating people on camera, Mr. Michael Moore, BAM! this is the end of my run on sentence! Moore titled his new docu-farce, 11/9 , yet opened the thing on 9/21. Go figure. Does Moore actually believe that this movie of his can sway mid-term elections? Probably so. These digits he picked for the title of his movie '11 9' reflect the date of November 9th 2016, which is the date that Mr. Donald Trump was formally named president of our beloved Union. MAPGA(sic) MAKING ALL POPCORN GREAT AGAIN!

Moore's movies are becoming more like rapid fire social justice warrior almanacs shot on high-end video and this new one is basically Moore's almanac #2016-2018, with deliberate redactions we call in the film industry-  editing choices.

Almanac topic of interest #1  Podesta, the man with a smelly boss.

So WTF, Moore manages to get a camera interview with the actual chairman of the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign Mr. John Podesta, but then completely let's Podesta off the hook?!! Moore and Podesta make absolutely no mention of anything related to the infamous Podesta's emails that were hacked and released by Wikileaks, despite both of these scoundrels knowing that those nasty emails, in which Podesta himself disparaged his own boss, were what sunk 'Crooked Hillary' way before Jim Comey's disgraceful 15 minutes of Warholian fame. I can only imagine that Moore didn't dig his dental arches into Podesta's throat on-camera because at this point no one trusts Moore anymore and there probably was a carefully drafted Podesta interview contract that defined the minuscule scope of what Podesta was willing to talk about on camera. 


adjective: miniscule
  1. 1. 
    extremely small; tiny.
    synonymstinyminutemicroscopicnanoscale, very small, littlemicrodiminutiveminiaturebabydwarfa smell that is like a combination of cabbage, urine and farts.

So basically, Moore needed a big name to slug into his movie credits for credibility sake, so he chose the swarthy John Podesta, but under Podesta's rules. Pretty hilarious. Now, at this point this is real comedy and NOT documentary, lol. Podesta ran this interview better than he ran the damn Hillary campaign. At this point, except for random pedestrian strangers that Moore finds off the street to interview from towns all over the planet interested in getting a free lunch, he has run out of boiled rabbits to pull out of his magic hat. He now pulls out RATS!!

Almanac topic of interest #2   Rednecks, USA.

A documented school teachers strike, that includes a local Union force fighting for teachers pay rights, is an area of the movie where Moore decides to call these small town union people 'rednecks' and provides to us the historical origin of that deplorable term 'redneck' as a way to somehow justify his slight. Once again, Moore is aiming to get laughs at the expense of others. 

Almanac topic of interest #3  Feeling the pained Bern.

Bernie Sanders' conceding to Hillary was a pretty depressing moment covered in the movie, not just because of the fact that I couldn't afford any popcorn to eat during this part, but because Hillary beat Bernie solely on the basis of an antiquated superdelegate vote. Also, it is rare to see such raw honesty in public figures these days, and the clips of Sanders conceding showed that there is nothing with this elderly man that feels fake or phony, making it even more painful to watch. It hurts like a stove burn.

Almanac topic of interest #4    Water finds its own level.

The Flint, Michigan lead poison water crisis was Moore's strongest point made in his new movie. Period. What happened in Moore's hometown of Flint, Michigan remains haunting and the reminder of that situation made me feel very grateful that there are jerks like Michael Moore in the world who will always desire to get their dirty hands dirtier in efforts to align themselves with a noble cause. The movie teaches us here a lot about lead poison, and about jerks.

Almanac topic of interest #5    Bammy.

Moore takes on Obama which seems brave as hell, but in hindsight understood to be yet another opportunistic move for his editors to have him come across as some 'fair' reporter. Don't fall for it. It's just more of a bloated hypocritical hoax. Remember what he did to Ralph Nader after Nader's presidential run? How he betrayed Ralph and blamed him as being the single 'spoiler' that got GW Bush elected! Moore cannot be trusted. Ever. Moore will turn his back on any person that he feels that he cannot get a last laugh from. Moore will turn his back on any single person that can't help him look 'radical' in his movies, because 'radical' is how he desperately wants to sell himself to the world.  

Almanac topic of interest #6  A vegetarian's dog named Blondie.

Moore's 11/9 is wrong about the Trump/Hitler comparison. Hitler was a strict vegetarian who did not come from privilege as Donald did, and Donald doesn't like dogs- he's from Queens! The Fuhrer's father did not hand to him one million dollars$$$ to start out in life as a business tycoon like the Don, Hitler was a lifetime politician, and a dangerous one from the start as evidenced by his use of the Munich bar scene as a recruiting machine. Hitler carefully crafted his propagated evil agenda to gain every power in the world, but an audience's humorous laughter. His evil was unique and had matured after many years of rejection, incarceration, street political practices and hatred from participating in war as a young volunteer misfit soldier. While Trump fills his rallies up in stadiums with classless rhetorical jokes and opponent ridicule, Hitler rallied up beer halls with unrehearsed lectures of hate to unexpected apolitical crowds. 

In the end, Moore seems a lot like Trump, he's apolitical despite his obnoxious proclamations. What he really seems to be is one big fat bratty angry child who loves wearing dungarees hollering on top of solid-state soap boxes. Michael Moore seems most comfortable high-fiving young teenagers in a hidden think-tank bunker than with grown adults. Like me as a broke ass sitting in this empty theatre alone right now, he is one big fat allegory of Fake News with a film budget to back his ass up.

Almanac topic of interest #7  Revenge is best served cold turkey.

At a close look at all of his docu-silly movies, Moore is about as radical as an SNL Alec Baldwin-Trump caricature impersonation skit. Moore's real winning gift is his projectile vomiting mean-spirited humor that he angles at all of his chosen targets. He was born to throw mud. And, he's a good shot. bye.