... and thinking that Tom Hanks could get the part in the remake if he could get a dialect coach to teach him Mandarin. Storyline: All U.S. postal delivery jobs get outsourced and jobless Americans seek jobs over seas by faking foreign education degrees and polygamous international marriages to gain dual citizenship perks. China buys out the Fed Ex delivery company from the U.S. A Fed Ex plane crashes into new artificial island created by China and the pilot, a Chinese-American hobo, digs a hole deep enough to crawl out into Nebraska. The dig takes 11 years. Hillary is on her 2nd term as President of the United States and orders Hank's character (General Tso Chicken) placed into a Chinese labor camp. World War 3 is in full force. ISIS has a stronghold on the Pacific Northwest. His job, in the labor camp, is to make volleyballs for the troops sent overseas in the Philipines. ISIS uses the volleyballs in propaganda videos killing soldiers in cages by volleyball throws to the head. In the end, Hanks character is executed by lethal injection in the state of Texas for being a defecting 'traitor' with a terrible American accent. It is discovered by Edward Snowden (pardoned by the Hillary administration and working for the White House as the director of homeland security technology) that upon decrypting several Fed Ex emails of General Tso, he had landed that job with Fed Ex by faking a Hong Kong college degree which he managed to get sponsored by a New Jersey Community College via a 'No Child Left Behind' loophole clause. Ending credits of the film cites that after the war has ended, in which the U.S. claim victory, with Russian troops as allies, the Vatican (Pope John Paul 'Wilson') canonizes him for being a closet Chinese-American Christian. His faith confirmed by the fact that on the day the war ended, 144,000 volleyballs mysteriously disappeared, and then reappeared 7 days later on the front lawn of the Clintons family home in Chappaqua, NY. There was an eggroll found in their home mailbox, as well.
THE END.
Bye.
p.s. Tom Hanks submitted an audition tape for the role -
