Caught In The Love Triangle of PROCESS/CONTENT/MATERIALITY

How do we choose our specific material, our means of communication?
"Accidentally."
Something speaks to us, a sound, a touch, hardness or softness, it catches us and asks us to be formed. We are finding our language, and as we go along we learn to obey their rules and their limits. We have to obey, and adjust to those demands. Ideas flow from it to us and though we feel to be the creator we are involved in a dialogue with our medium. The more subtle we are tuned to our medium, the more intuitive our actions will become. Not listening to it ends in failure...What I am trying to get across is that material is a means of communication. That listening to it, not dominating it, makes us truly active, that is: to be active, be passive. The finer tuned we are to it, the closer we come to art.

Anni Albers, "Material as Metaphor," in SELECTED WRITINGS ON DESIGN

Text Text Text go away

I am currently rehearsing my new film, HOMEWRECKA in my head. I am continually looking for various ways to describe my stories. With film, you have only a few options, IMAGE, SOUND and TEXT. Is there a way to climb over this prison wall? Not sure. I think that then we would be walking into the landscape of performance art. Hummmmm. I have used all kinds of different tools for my text descriptions of events to keep my creativity work "FUN". You can only find so many busted up typewriters and types of rough paper.

I wish I had a teacher I could turn on and off. A teacher who would challenge me to discover new ideas and possibilities. I am reading about the teaching practices of Eva Hesse. What a lucky bunch of kids she taught.

Here is a sample of her teaching methodology from the book "EVA HESSE DRAWING" :

On "expressive possibilities of line," find this: "I will make up a story. I will describe forms that can move, walk, jump, describe long shapes, circles that skip and hop. I can sit still or move at 300 miles an hour. Can you paint me?"

On color, one exercise proposes "using at least four different hues of black, render the image as colorful as possible" (ex. Ad Reinhardt).

I read stuff like this, and I am reminded about why I love, and DON'T understand why I REMAIN in love with creating films. I am hellbent on continuing my journey towards bringing the film narrative into the complete "white cube" of the "fine art" spectrum. MISSING GREEN was my first direct gunshot. NICE PEOPLE and HOMEWRECKA will be the following ballistic report.


love,
aka me
xo

a note on poet, ANNE SEXTON

The doctor encouraged her, and tried to give her a sense of purpose. "Don't kill yourself," he said. "Your poems might mean something to someone else someday."

your greatest fan

Like it or not, you must be your greatest fan.

I make films, make sounds, make stuff, because I HAVE TO. I have no other reason.
It is terrible when you work so hard at setting up a presentation of work, and you learn that know one really truly cares about you do BUT YOU. I am talking to myself outloud right now (I imagine). Why do I do this crap? IT's all about money, attention, who knows who, for the most part. I do have to remind myself, that I got into this film art thing because of seeing cinema that inspired and changed me (i.e. BERGMAN, ROSSELLINI).
I have a huge body of work now.
But who will ever see it all?
I work now towards my death show. Seriously. I organize everything I do carefully and "clearly", I "back up" all of my work, I write the "creative process" for as many films of mine as I can to help give insight to the public of how I create what I do, and my "motivations" if there are any. The idea is that when I am dead(and unfortunately when this happens I won't even know it) someone can organize it all and show it all properly to inspire others and let the work live on. WHY CAN'T I JUST DIE, COME RIGHT BACK IN THE FORM OF A FANATICAL FAN GIRL AND ORGANIZE THE THING MYSELF!

I guess this is why God created the almighty BLOG , huh. For stuff like this.
Well, I hope someone out there can relate to some aspect of this.
If not, The mere act of writing this keeps me focused on the quaky reminder that I am this despicable creature they call "artist".

And man, what I would to to trade it in and be a simpleton candy wrapper somewhere in a rural town with a run down local movie theatre and a loyal mut junkyard dog that loves me.


aka
me.
xo

Forgot to mention...

I AM FEATURED IN BWAC !
I am showing a still photography show based upon the joys of single parenthood, and the wonders of children.

Please come see my non-controversial moment as an artist (FINALLY)!
Here is a sample image from the series...