An 8 ft tall Sasquatch was spotted running into highway traffic in the Bronx during this 2015 blizzard !!! Anthropologists and city biologists are negotiating with locals as attempts to safely capture the creature are underway. The creature was last seen head diving into a local Bronx bodega and sliding down Gun Hill road. Street gangs 'Bloods' and 'Crips' have agreed not to shoot the beast, but rumor is that both gangs are highly anticipating recruiting the beast. Bronx residents have been ordered by the Mayor of New York to not open up apartment doors to anybody or anything taller than 4 feet. All Fed Ex and UPS delivery agencies have been ordered to not approach private homes and to not approach any hairy ambulatory moving objects so most workers called in-sick today. Be safe! Bigfoot lives. bye.
